Family Matters - Dec 2019
Welcome to the ‘Family Matters’ newsletter. Every month you'll discover deep insights, thought-provoking discussion points, and commentary on family, business, and what really matters to us.

Wishing everyone an enjoyable holiday season, whatever and however you celebrate. I'm getting away for a bit, and hopefully will do a Jan newsletter with some fresh energy!

Upcoming travel: Singapore (early Jan), New York (late Feb), Dubai (early Mar), Singapore (May). Please message me if you'd like to catch up!

Regards,
David

The real problem with "OK, Boomer"
You may have seen the latest viral meme sweeping the internet. "OK, Boomer" is the response of younger people to complaints by older people about their behaviour and attitudes.

Readers of this newsletter may know my attitude to the whole "generation wars" narrative - it's a load of crap and we shouldn't get caught up in it. Older people have been complaining about younger people for as long as there have been multiple generations on this earth, and research points to the reasons why we do this (see link below).

However, there is one thing commentators haven't picked up about the "OK, Boomer" phenomenon. The problem with memes is that they are short, simplistic, and importantly they are conversation stoppers. When we throw up a meme, it's like saying "I agree/disagree, here is my curt response, and there is nothing more to say on the matter".

When it comes to intergenerational conflict, that is the worst way to respond, because what we ought to be doing is building bridges and enabling better communication and understanding between groups of people who look at the world (and express their opinions) in very different ways. This can't be achieved with meme wars and throw away lines. The issues are complex and nuanced, and require bilateral efforts - yes, both generations need to work toward communicating better and understanding each other. It's not easy, it won't happen overnight, but with effort, it can happen.

Consider This: (Directed at older family members) Do you know what a meme is? Do you know why younger people like to communicate using memes, emojis, and social media? (Directed at younger family members) Can you imagine a time before the internet and social media? What do you think your parents and grandparents were like when they were your age? How do you think they related to their parents back then?
Letting Go
"How do I transfer wealth to my children without spoiling them?" That would be the most common question I am asked, and for most people, stands at the heart of the challenge of wealth transition.

But often this question masks what parents really want, e.g. "how do I get my children to do/be what I want?" That question is not about wealth, but about parental power and control. And when parents say "I don't want to rule from the grave", often they actually do, but just don't want to make it quite so obvious.

There are no simple answers, nor even a set of tactics that can be applied. Rather, these questions are the starting point of a family relationship journey, which can lead to a stronger and more robust family that understands its purpose and shared values, and is well governed.

As much as wealth creators and incumbent controllers of family wealth want to control the future of their family, an important part of the journey is learning how to let go, which is often needed to help your children to become everything they can be.

Consider This: Do you (incumbent generation) have a clear understanding of your family's (wealth) goals? Is there consensus on this amongst those now in control of the wealth? What steps have you taken to (a) find out what the rising generation want, and (b) communicate what you want to them?
Enjoying this newsletter?
If you enjoy these monthly viewpoints on issues of importance for family wealth, you should join our free membership site! 

It includes access to:
** archives of past Family Matters newsletters
** slides/audio/video of some of my talks at HNW conferences and forums.

If you have purchased my book, video course or other products through my sites you will also find activated links to the collection, in one place, in the member area.

One login = access it all! Join at https://www.transitionbook.co/member-area

Or engage, follow, like and comment via LinkedInTwitter, Facebook or Instagram.

You received this e-mail because you are subscribed to Family Matters from Nathanson Pearson Pty Ltd. If you enjoyed this content, please share it. if not, please tell us why. 
Copyright © 2018-9 David Werdiger, All rights reserved.